Day??? I'm not sure any more!

Possibly day 21? I have completely lost track.

I am feeling better today, not completely mended and better, but definitely better than yesterday. I had a mini breakdown last night, at least I think thats how it would have looked from anyone on the outside looking in.

The evening was going ok, I was starting to feel calmer and more relaxed, until my dearest mother called and started going on about someone's wedding that they want me to photograph. Which is lovely and I am sure that bride wants to get it all sorted. But really, the day after I was telling her how stressed I was feeling?

Anyway, I don't want to go into it too much really, I can feel the tension as I type about it, and I am really concentrating on keeping clam and relaxed, or at least a bit more level headed.

Basically yesterday culminated in me having a god almighty strop, kicking a kitchen cupboard door (which D thought I had broken, but I hadn't, I was only wearing my slippers, and my little foot wasn't strong enough to smash the wood on its own!) and then sobbing on the sofa.

D has never seen me lose my temper like that before. But I think it made min realise exactly how much I am trying to do, and how much I do need someone to help.

I think I have only ever lost it like that once before, and I was about 15, so seeing as I am now nearly 30, I shouldn't be due another one until I am about 45! :)

I still have a lot of things on my plate and to do, but I am trying not to over think things, and worry, and just get on with stuff. Its the only way things will get done if you just get it together and get on.

We ordered the groceries last night. ensuring we had plenty of quick and easy food for weekdays. I made a little 'easy dinners' list for on the fridge too, with points values and meal ideas that we can throw in the oven, or that just take a few minutes to do.

If I am going to be busy, and starting to go gym too, mon-thurs we need no effort quick food. So we stocked up on pies (wwers for me of course!) a few ready meals, filled pasta and the like. to make weekdays that bit easier.

I think I will have had a gain this week. I've just not really had my head in the right place. But I am re-focussing today.

TODAYS MENU

B - 2 crumpets, spread, tea - 3.5

L - tuna salad roll - 6.0

D - jacket potato, spread, chicken, salad, mayo - 6.5

E - first proper session of power plates! no idea what points that will earn!

16/19