Bad day

I am seriously unhappy tonight.

The day started out alright. Found an old stp album to listen to in the car on the way to work. Cheered up a friend with a gift of a bag with a dancing cat on it. It was alright.
But something happened. I don't really know what, I've not been feeling particularly inspired or happy the past few days. Just grumpy and sulky (and I am not even hormonal!!) All afternoon and evening I've been having intermittent cramps in my left thigh, and right now, right at this moment I wish it'd just f*** off so I can get some decent rest!!

Of course I don't deal with these things sensibly not like my laid back happy husband does. On the scale of pessimism/optimism we are pretty much at opposite ends of the spectrum.
I try and change, but its hard. Especially when you are tired and peeved off, and the thing you want to escape from you can't, because its your own effing body!

So... My hopes to turn this blog into a place to pour my inspirations and thoughts seems to have failed at the first hurdle. But you need somewhere to unleash (if that's the right word, perhaps unload is more apt) your feelings, get them out there in the world, no matter who would read it or not, or hear it or not, you just need to let it all out!!

I think it helps your brain process thoughts, makes everything seem much more manageable and realistic again!


Looks like my husband may have had an insect decide he was tasty, and its chowed down on his bottom! I'll not share any more! :) just an observation while he's snoring here beside me in bed!

I'm feeling really quite sleepy too actually. I'll just record some of hubbys snoring for evidence that he really DOES snore, and then try and settle down myself.

Goodnight blog world. Sleep tight xxx
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Early morning

This morning I was awake early. Darren always gets up earlier than me for work, and I normally go back to sleep, but this morning I was wide awake.
No amount of extra cusions to snuggle down in was making me sleepy.
It was quite nice to take a really relaxing slow morning.

Changes

I am thinking of making some changes. Well. Truth be told I am in the process of making some changes.
Big ones too!
We are de cluttering and redecorating the whole house, and in the process, making things more workable for the changes that will be happening.
I need to do more that makes me happy, I need to be inspired and I have decided to write this blog on all the things that make me happy and inspire me.
That may be types of interior design, it may be healthy enjoyable eating, or it may be something else entirely.

We'll see how things go, but I want to document these changes in my life and have something to look back at and lift my spirits on those down days we always have, especially it seems when we are striving towards a goal.

But I have my goals in sight, and I am going to give it my all to get to them!
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Lovely cup of tea

Just thought I'd share this little picture of me with my Minni Mouse mug I was given for my birthday. I love it!! :)

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I made it back to Weight Watchers last night.

After a month off, and slacking off and not going last week, I finally bit the bullet and decided to just get on with it, go, get weighed, survey the damage and take a positive step towards getting healthier, slimmer and happier.

So, I arrived (10 min early as it happens!) queued up and got weighed. Since my last WI on June 2nd, I have put on 5lbs.

So a month off, a wedding, a honeymoon (a week of which was all inclusive) and a birthday where I was spoilt rotten all included and ONLY 5lbs on!! :DDDDD

I am super happy with that. Back on track today and feeling fab about being healthier again! :)

Feeling fab about a lot of things actually. feeling happier with my job, not completely but I can see a future for me here with a few changes, and think I might be able to make it work for me eventually going part time/working from home. Which is the eventual goal of course for when we (hopefully) start a family.

That with my decision to get into my photography a bit more again, and develop that into selling prints, paintings, drawings etc online, plus a possible stint in mystery shopping or brochure drops, perhaps not exciting, but if it means I can look after my children at home, get a wee doggy and keep some variety so I do not get bored, I am all for it.

We also have a makeover plan in place for the house. all in all things are looking good and are on the up. Yay! :)

The month of decadence is almost over!

I had a wonderful Birthday weekend. I got incredibly spoilt by my lovely husband, but we have both decided us driving in London is never ever going to happen again!

Also, wearing heels is incredibly treacherous, especially on the cobbled streets of covent garden.

When we finally made it through London and found the hotel, we checked in, moved the car to some free parking round the back (hoorah!) and went to our room. Which was actually 2 rooms, made into one... HUGE. Huge by London standards anyway. (by London standards that we can afford)

We had 2 bathrooms, 2 tvs, one in the bedroom area, one in the living area. a fancy coffee machine, and some chocolate flap jacks. lovely.

We had to rush around a bit to get ready as traffic/roadworks had held us up a bit. We grabbed a taxi to the Cambridge theatre in Covent Garden. D had booked us tickets in the stalls to see Chicago. Having never been to a show in London the theatre was much smaller tan I expected but the show was great, and even D ('I hate musicals') enjoyed it,though I have a feeling it may have been more to do with the lack of clothing worn by the girls in the show! haha.

After getting out of the show, again it was a rush around for us to grab a taxi and make it to the Ritz for dinner reservations (I said I was spoilt)

When we arrived at the Ritz, we bumped into my boss who had been having lunch their and had a room for the evening! He pointed us in the right direction, and off we trotted for Dinner. (He then very kindly sent a couple of glasses of champagne to our table for us!!)

We both had pigeon to start, which was beautiful, and delicious. D had Chicken, and I had Lamb for my main. I cannot speak for the chicken, but the Lamb was absolutely wonderful. Then to finish, I had Baked strawberry cheese cake, which was nice but nothing to shout about. and D had a sour cherry soufflé. followed by some petite fours.

I see that I am now rambling, so I shall cut it short!

After our meal we went to get the tube back, but Jubeliee line was shut, so we grabbed a taxi. popped to the Tate Modern to have a look around (D, 'I just dont get art!!') went back to the hotel, and had a can of cola and pringles from the mini bar.

Sunday, we had breakfast, checked out, and drove to Knightsbridge to have a day at a spa. (as approaching where the spa was D said ' wow, that place has loads of flags outside, it must be well posh'. Me - 'Its Harrods!')

Finally we found somewhere to park, and had out lovers pamper day at the Aquilla Spa. Both having a massage, facial and manicure. We then had lunch at the Rembrandt Hotel next door. went back to the spa and had a swim and jacuzzi.

Then left to tackle the terrible traffic in London, and listen to the terrible footy on the radio.

When we got home we popped to our local harvester with good friends L & E and my parents.

all in all, a wonderful birthday weekend! :D

Hello. My name is Julia, and I am a foodaholic

I wish I had some self control and didn't like food as much as I do!! Or, I wish I could love food, but not all food, and know when to stop. I dont NEED to eat everything in sight, all the food in the world is not going to disappear overnight. so I have come to the realisation that I am possibly a foodaholic. Not a fully fledged can't stop eating ever I'll soon need a crane and 6 burly blokes to get me out of the house foodaholic. but a foodaholic none the less. I also wish that I liked mornings, and getting up to exercise was easy for me, because its not. I much prefer staying in bed and letting the sunlight wash through the curtains, windows open, listening to the birds chatter away, and the bees buzzing by.

and one other thing that weird-ing me out at the moment... I am not in the slightest, one tiny little bit bothered about turning 30 on Sunday!! Normally I hate birthdays, but I am really not bothered! hmmm, perhaps I am gradually getting to know myself better and be happier with my life. Or perhaps I am just resigned to the fact that no matter how much pouting, feet stamping and sulking I do, time is NOT going to stop, and I will be turning 30 on Sunday, so I might as well just suck it up, get on with it and bloody well enjoy myself.

Either way, it makes a pleasant change to the last 10 years of dreading my birthday! :)

(plus, I think I look pretty darn good for a 30 year old!)

(and oh yes. I am back blogging! woo hoo!)

Much Love. x

wedding photos

Fresh start

The weekend did not go so well. after my hen do at TGIs on Friday (yummy food, yummier cocktails!) then a busy Saturday/Sunday where we hadn't planned and so did not eat well, I am not looking forward to WI on Weds, and generally was feeling down and despondent about my weight this morning.

But I popped on the WWers NCU forum, and you know what I am feeling much more positive and happy.

After I have finished the post at work, I am going to do a meal plan for the week ahead. I am going to fit in some exercise and not fret and let the weekend get me down and ruin the rest of this week.

I just need to pick myself up and start again.

Wish me luck! xx

Back on that wagon?

Again a bad week. Wwers seems to be the last thing on my mind at the moment, but if I want to be in the 10s for our wedding/honeymoon I need to sort myself out and get my head back into the right place.
I made some soup last night for lunches this week. And generally I just need to keep focus!

MUST TRY HARDER!!
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Day??? I'm not sure any more!

Possibly day 21? I have completely lost track.

I am feeling better today, not completely mended and better, but definitely better than yesterday. I had a mini breakdown last night, at least I think thats how it would have looked from anyone on the outside looking in.

The evening was going ok, I was starting to feel calmer and more relaxed, until my dearest mother called and started going on about someone's wedding that they want me to photograph. Which is lovely and I am sure that bride wants to get it all sorted. But really, the day after I was telling her how stressed I was feeling?

Anyway, I don't want to go into it too much really, I can feel the tension as I type about it, and I am really concentrating on keeping clam and relaxed, or at least a bit more level headed.

Basically yesterday culminated in me having a god almighty strop, kicking a kitchen cupboard door (which D thought I had broken, but I hadn't, I was only wearing my slippers, and my little foot wasn't strong enough to smash the wood on its own!) and then sobbing on the sofa.

D has never seen me lose my temper like that before. But I think it made min realise exactly how much I am trying to do, and how much I do need someone to help.

I think I have only ever lost it like that once before, and I was about 15, so seeing as I am now nearly 30, I shouldn't be due another one until I am about 45! :)

I still have a lot of things on my plate and to do, but I am trying not to over think things, and worry, and just get on with stuff. Its the only way things will get done if you just get it together and get on.

We ordered the groceries last night. ensuring we had plenty of quick and easy food for weekdays. I made a little 'easy dinners' list for on the fridge too, with points values and meal ideas that we can throw in the oven, or that just take a few minutes to do.

If I am going to be busy, and starting to go gym too, mon-thurs we need no effort quick food. So we stocked up on pies (wwers for me of course!) a few ready meals, filled pasta and the like. to make weekdays that bit easier.

I think I will have had a gain this week. I've just not really had my head in the right place. But I am re-focussing today.

TODAYS MENU

B - 2 crumpets, spread, tea - 3.5

L - tuna salad roll - 6.0

D - jacket potato, spread, chicken, salad, mayo - 6.5

E - first proper session of power plates! no idea what points that will earn!

16/19

Quick update

I haven't been posting, to be honest its been the last thing on my mind at the moment. what with wedding dress issues, and money issues amongst other things, putting anything on my blog has been way down on my list.

Tonight I was due to have a gym induction, but I have decided to cancel. Just so I can have a rest, both mentally and physically.

We have a few things we need to get our heads round and sort out and make plans to sort out. Thank kind of thing.

So hopefully, I'll be back on track and have less of a brain overload soon.

And when that happens I shall be back on the blog and posting regularly. at the moment however, a small time out is needed.

Day 16

I know its early. I have been up and awake for not far of an hour already. D had to leave for work earlier today and when his alarm went off, I was wide awake. Normally I just half wake up and as soon as he is up I coccoon myself in the covers and drop straight back off to sleep.

Instead this morning I was awake, so I made myself breakfast, and came bed to catch up on some of my TV programs! :)

Anyway... Weigh In last night... I lost 1.5lbs!! yes LOST 1.5lbs! :D

Not sure how that happened, i guess saving points and lots of walking did the trick.

TODAYS MENU
B - 2 crumpets, spread, strawberries, tea - 4.0
L - 0pt soup, half ham & cheese wrap, tomato - 4.0
S - Pineapple - 0.5
D - Chicken salad and Chips - 5.5
S - WWers chocolate brownie - 3.0
E - Power Plates induction! eeek! :D

Day 15

Its a beautiful day today. always puts me in a better mood! :)

Its weigh in night tonight. Not looking forward to it at all. I was going to skive and not bother going, but like a good little weight watcher I am going to go and assess the damage from the hen weekend. :(

Still not looking forward to it in the slightest though!!

Got a bit of a head ache at the moment. I think because I am getting a little dehydrated it is very warm in this office when the sun hits the windows in the afternoon. I need to get back into the habit of brining a cold drink in with me. the tap water here tastes nasty.

I shall still walk to my meeting, and I shall ask D if he will pick me up, so we can pop to the shops and get some tinned tomatoes for me to make some nice 0pt soup with.

Today's lunch was officially LUSH! although it did look like a child's packed lunch!

We had some Mediterranean wraps at home (basically herby wraps!) so I filled one with some baby spinach, finely chopped celery, ham (chopped into thin slices) and some grated cheese and a squidge of mayo.

7.5points for the whole wrap. But I chopped it in half and wrapped it in foil so it lasts me 2 days for lunches. then I had some 0pt soup, a tomato and a kids pack of fruit. having a few different things made it so much more enjoyable, and it was only 4.5pts for the lot!

TODAYS MENU

B - 2 crumpets, spread, strawberries, tea - 4.0

L - half ham and cheese wrap, home made soup, tomato - 4.0

S - kids fruit pack - 0.5

D - Jacket potato, butter, cheese, beans - 9.0

17.5/19

E - walk to meeting - 1.0 bonus point

Day 14

Have I mentioned that I came to the decision i should spend more time and effort on myself. I'll be honest, I can't remember a damn thing I have written on here at this specific moment in time.
Anyway, this afternoon I made an appointment for an induction at the gym! eeek. monday at 18.15.
D agreed (well OK it was his idea) that I really should do more for myself. So I am rejoining the gym. My plan of action is:
Mondays: Body Balance (straight after work at 18.15)
Tuesdays: Gym (weights, cardio, whatever, again straight after work)
Wednesdays: Weight Watchers meetings. walk there
Thursdays: Gym (straight after work, weights and/or cardio)
Fridays: Nothing
Saturdays: Nothing
Sundays: Gym (in the morning while Daz at footy. shower and home for a bit of a pamper session! Might use the sauna or steam room on a Sunday too!)

I am nervous, but i'll not go crazy on my program! :) so it should all be good. D has said he shall help me and do dinner for me some nights etc too which is lovely of him.
I think when I do this months grocery shop I shall stock up on quick and easy style foods! Give him a helping hand! :)

TODAYS MENU
B - 2 toast, Jam, Tea - 4.0
L - 0pt soup, 2bread & butter - 3.0
S - pineapple - 1.0
D - cheesy mushroom and pepper risotto - 4.0
S - WWers dessert, 1 chocolate - 5.0

17/19

Day 13

Late update. I did mean to post last night, but what with getting home and D having tidied everywhere so I could relax (ahhh) and then having to catch up on great british menu it completely slipped my mind.

Hen night was good. relaxing and we had nice food and a decent amount of wine! :) Didn't go out as much as we had planned, but it was still fun.

unfortunately teenage/prepubescent boys are knob heads and occasionally put somewhat of a downer on the weekend. that combined with lack of sleep (from the most uncomfortable bed!) meant I was an unhappy lady Sunday evening.

Poor D got me pouring out my heart to him at midnight Sunday (which is something I tend to do every so often!) finally he got me to lie down, calm down, relax and go sleep.

My overactive imagination is not always a good thing, more often its a bad thing in fact!

aanyway, that led to a rather unhappy day yesterday. But it has made me resolve to take care of myself more, so today I am calling the gym to see about joining and having an induction.

YESTERDAYS MENU

B - 2 crumpets, spread, tea - 3.5

L - Jacket and cheese - 7.0

S - pineapple - 1.0

D - ready meal, soup, bread - 8.0

19.5/19

Day 10

*gasp*

I did not post yesterday! Bad Bad BAD Jules!

yesterday was an ok day, cant have been too exciting because I didn't write anything! I cant remember what I ate either but I do know I stayed inside my 19/19 points! :)

Today is a beautiful day and I am sitting waiting for work to finish so I can go home, get some chicken out the freezer for dinner and go for a lovely walk round the lakes with D.

Blue skies, sun shining.

I think I shall put a dress on when I get home, change out of my crappy work clothes. and possibly skip to feed the duckies!

Tomorrow I am in birmingham for my 1st Hen do. Just me and my lil' sis' and one of my best buds Leanne are going. hoping to keep the over indulgence under some sort of control, and I have planned super low point diet days mon-weds next week to make up for it. hopefully it'll all come out in the wash and be ok! :D

22minutes and counting to home time! Its sad really counting the time away, but I feel so uninspired sat here 9-5.30 day in day out. and its all so pretty outside! ... damn mortgage! haha.

we'll get there one day, have our wee house all sorted, or there abouts, and have more time to sit in the sunshine.

Just a few months hopefully! ok, the house wont be sorted but we'll have a lot more free time at weekends! yay

Dont know if I shall blog this weekend or not, depends how drunk/hungover one feels! ;)

TODAYS MENU

B - 2 crumpets, spread, tea - 3.5

L - ham salad roll - 5.0

S - pineapple, dried fruit, cashews - 4.0

D - chicken fajita and salad - 4.5

17/19

Day 8

In a crappy mood this morning.

No real reason for it, but generally just cannot be arsed with anything!

and I forgot my lunch. bah.

Wi is tonight and I am really hoping I have lost this week *crosses fingers* hoping I can finish work early (when I find where my boss has gone I shall ask!) so I can get the tyres done on my car, grab a bit to eat at home and shower before taking a walk to my meeting.

No idea what I shall grab to eat, but know we are having filled pasta for dinner. :) nice and quick to cook. (and oh so yummy!)

TODAYS MENU

B - 2 crumpets, spread, tea - 3.5

L - ??? not sure yet!

D - mushroom filled pasta with, spinach and tomato and basil sauce - 7.5

E - 1mile e/w walk to/from meeting - 2.0 bonus points

so it leaves me 10 points for lunch and a snack/dessert. but I shall save my bonus points at least for my hen do this weekend!! :) x

Day 7

Woke up early this morning. So I decided to make breakfast in bed, and its bed I am writing this from! :)
Got all my make up and magic potions with me to 'glam' myself up... As glam as I get for work! Haha.

Last night when I got home from work I was on a real clean and tidy mission. Its lovely waking up in a tidier bedroom! :) and I sorted out all my clothes/drawers to have all my summer stuff in them. Big jumpers are all banished to the bottom drawer. :)

Not sure what to have for dinner tonight. Again I'm not very prepared today food wise! But I shall make sure I stay within my points!

TODAYS MENU
B - 2 crumpets, spread, tea (in bed hehe) - 3.5
L - jacket potato, sausage, veg, gravy - 3.5
... And that's as far as I have got today! X
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Day 6

And a late update.
Not a bad day yesterday. A bit grouchy what with it being a monday! :)
Had a little sneaky peek at my weight and looks like I am on for a 1.5 - 2lb loss which I am happy with. Just got to keep it up and keep on losing! Planning on sorting out an outfit for WI each week. So I know my weight would be about the same each week and my clothes are not effecting the WI! :)
Needs to be something comfortable for my walk to the meeting each week.

YESTERDAYS MENU
B - 2 crumpets, spread, tea - 3.5
L - pasta bolognaise - 2.5
S - pineapple - 1.0
D - jacket pot, cheese, beans, lf sausages - 11.0
S - WWers carrot cake - 1.0
19/19
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New tattoo.

As promised here is the pic of my new tattoo.

Sorry its the wrong way round, it was sent straight from my phone, and obviously did not like sending it the way I wanted it to!

I had only just taken off the wrap here so its still greasy and red raw, but you get the idea. xx

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Day 5

My new tattoo is still sore!

Had crumpets and tea in bed for breakfast from my lovely D this morning.
Then when he was home from footy we met friends for a mooch round Primark and lunch at costa coffee.
Won a tenner on the lotto last night so we brought some bits from primark, a summer top and flip flops for me, and a hoodie in the sale for D. £9 in total! Baaaargain! :D
Not sure what to do for dinner. Not especially hungry, but fancy something to nibble on.

TODAYS MENU.
B - 2 crumpets, spread, tea - 3.5
L - skinny latte, chicken arribiata panini - 7
10.5/19 so far! Xx

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UPDATE

really wasnt hungry for dinner at all, so I had a packet of crisps dipped in ELF cheese (yum) and a creme egg!

so total points for the day: 17/19

Day 4

So today hasn't been the greatest food day. BUT I have juuuust stopped inside my points.

I got a new tattoo today. quite a big one, and I didn't think I was nervous, but as it turns out I really really was, which meant I had no appetite and I was a grumpy cow this morning. Poor D.

this means the food plans for the day went out the window, and I have been a stroppy sleepy moo all day.
But my tattoo is looking pretty darn cool, and I didn't completely naff up my points!

ooh. also, me and my friend Leanne are going to start Power Plate sessions. not got our induction until next Friday (16th) but hopefully that'll help tone up a bit. :)

I really really hope I lose weight this week!! eek!

TODAYS MENU
B - nothing
L - Cheeseburger Happy meal! - 10pts
S - lucozade, doritos - 6.0
D - 2 crumpets, spread - 3.0
19/19

Day 3

Today I am updating from my bed! Hoorah for my blackberry! :)
Bad start to the morning, not food wise, but mood wise. Bloody men! That's all I want to say, completely and utterly peeved off, and disappointed. But I will not let it mess up my wwers day!

Last night we did not have what was planned for dinner. Instead we had take out. I chose special fried rice, I know our local chinese does a relatively small version so less risk of going over points. I had enough points for it anyway. And it was so yummy. I had some fresh fruit for dessert. Yum.
Didn't walk to the shops however. We plan to take a walk and feed the ducks this evening.
I shall resist the urge to push him in the lake.

TODAYS MENU
B - 2 crumpets, spread, fruit, milk - 4.0
L - chicken salad, bread roll - 6.5
S - graze box snacks - 4.0
D - undecided... ! When I get to work I shall do some recipe hunting online! :)
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Day 2

So, last night I walked to my WWers meeting, got weighed (STS, more on that in a moment) stayed for the meeting and then walked home.

It was lovely being out in the fresh air! and its only a 20ish min walk each way so not a massive hike, I allowed myself 30min so I could take it a leisurely pace. It was a little dull/dusky when I left the meeting and walked home, but its only going to get lighter, and so become more enjoyable. :)

Apparently my freckles also enjoyed the walk, as when D got home he commented on how he loves spring/summer because as soon as I step outside my freckles all start to appear! lol. if I walk shops tonight they will be out in abundance as its a beautiful sunny day. Sunny days put me in a great mood.

Anyway back to my weigh in result. STS. Which actually after the Easter weekend, chocolate eggs, roast dinners, cornflake cakes and chocolate gateaux I am happy with. the walks to feed the ducks, and laying laminate flooring really must have all helped burn off the extra food. Very very happy that I did not put on.

The meeting was about goals last night, and cutting them down into manageable chunks. Mini goals. because while my ultimate goal is about 2 stone away, my midway wedding/honeymoon goal, is just 1stone. and my goal for next week is 2lbs.

So I am trying to keep in mind my midway and ultimate goals, but ultimately just concentrate on my mini goal of 2lbs off next week.

I have my food plan for the next few days, and I shall pop shop tonight to get some fresh fruit and other healthy yummy supplies. :D

TODAYS MENU

B - 2 crumpets, spread, milk - 3.5

L - Ham roll, cheese bites - 5.5

D - Cheesy pepper Risotto - 4.0

S - fruit - 1.0

14/19 (room for a glass of wine, or a small dessert)

Day 1

Day 1 of this Blog.

Technically Day 7 of being an official Weight Watcher, and probably day 1,000,000,001 of being on 'a diet'

But Today is the first day of a new me. If I am ever going to slim down and lose the weight I have put on, I need to get off my backside and start taking this seriously.

and I know if I don't I will hate looking at our wedding day photos. and our wedding day is only 8 weeks away. I have birthdays and hen nights etc to contend with from now until then, but if I can stay focussed I can hopefully lose a stone. That will make a big difference.

I feel a bit scared, and apprehensive as I know its going to take a lot of work, and I am worried I shall fail. I am also kicking myself and am completely pissed off with myself for leaving it until now to really do something about my weight. So pissed off with myself. But I must find it inside somewhere and stay strong and do this. I hate seeing myself in the mirror, catching glances of myself in shop windows! and I hate hate hate photos of myself.

So tonight is my first WI after joining meetings again last week. its been a bad week, Easter and TOTM have contributed to me eating like a horse! So learning from that I have today planned out a week's (ish) worth of meals. including lunch out and some treats so I don't feel completely deprived.
Hopefully the DIY (laying laminate flooring) all weekend will have helped me a bit and I may have managed an STS!? but we shall see I guess.

So... here it starts! good luck to me eh! :)

TODAYS MENU

B - 2 Crumpets, spread, milk - 3.5

L - ham salad roll, crisps - 6.5

D - pitta pizza & BNS chips - 6.0

E - 1 mile e/w walk to meeting and home = 2 points gained